The 3 Negative Emotions!

What is holding you back from following your dreams and goals?

  When our manager was done, he said, “ok, guys, I am going to pass the baton to ‘X’ because he has something he wants to say.” We all thought that it was a regular speech about some type of project that needed to be completed, but we were all wrong. “X” said, “Guys, it’s been a pleasure working with you all, but I am leaving the company. My wife and I decided to go and follow our goals and dreams.”

  The room turned silent for a few seconds because most of us thought that he was playing around, but he wasn’t. He was one hundred percent serious and certain of his decision, something that you don’t see too often in today’s modern world.

  When I realized how serious he was, my face lit up with a huge smile.

  Not because he was leaving our team, but because I knew exactly how he was feeling. I did the same thing a few years back.

  I remember coming back from vacation and walking into my supervisor’s office, saying, “This is it, I am calling it quits.” Just like “X” did.  Here’s the main lesson for this writing: don’t miss it!

  When I quit the company, so many of my ex-coworkers congratulated me and gave me a thumbs up for making the decision to follow my dreams and goals.  I saw the same pattern again.  

As soon as the meeting was over, every single one of the team members (Around 15 people) gathered around “X” and said congratulations and good luck on your journey.  

Some of them were confused and probably thinking it was a stupid decision, others followed up by saying, “Man, I wish I could do that, but I can’t right now, it’s tough out there, but good luck.”  

I follow up by saying, “I am so F*%! Happy for y’all, you guys are going to do absolutely awesome.”

  I can only say that because I have done what “X” is about to do. I’ve seen the other side of the fence, and I loved it! But here’s the thing… Why do so many people stay stuck in a place that they hate and never follow their dreams and goals?

  Is it because of comfort?

  Is it because they don’t like to be alone? Or maybe they don’t know how to make decisions.  I think people don’t follow their goals and dreams because of “FEAR”  

But what is fear?

  I’m sure you have heard the acronym for F.E.A.R ~ False ~ Evidence ~ Appearing ~ Real  I define fear as… A negative emotion that drives us to make false assumptions that keep us stuck inside our comfort zone. In my experience, I have concluded that there are only three main fears. Every other fear is a prototype of one of these three negative emotion pillars. Here they are… ~ The fear of the unknown What’s on the other side of the fence? When I left a job that I had been working for twenty-one years, I was terrified. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but the desire to chase my dream was much, much stronger than my fear, and I can almost assure you that this is how “X” is feeling right now!

  So, how do we defeat “The Fear of the Unknown?” Check this out… Do you like scary movies? I always relate “The Fear of the Unknown” to a horror movie. Maybe because I love going to the movies! Stay with me… When you watch a scary movie for the first time, you don’t know what’s going to pop up on the screen, so what happens? You jump out of your seat, or you scream, or you hold onto the person who came with you. But what happens if, a few days, weeks, or months later, you watch the same movie? I am willing to bet that you will still be afraid, but the effect won’t be the same because you already know where all the scary parts of the movie are. Correct? It’s the same thing with the fear of the unknown; the only way to defeat it is by going through that thing that scares you. When you decide to experience the fear of the unknown for the first time and go through that barrier, you will become a dangerous person (In a good way) because the next time you run into the same fear, you will be able to push it to the side and keep on rolling. After that, the fear of the unknown can’t and will never stop you anymore! Second Fear to look out for…  “The fear of Criticism” The fear of Criticism is another super powerful fear that restricts people from their greatness.  An easy way to bring the fear of criticism out is by doing some public speaking.  I do a lot of public speaking! I’m either training a class, coaching someone one-on-one, creating content for social media, or just practicing my communication skills in front of my dog. Every time I am in front of a live audience, I like to engage them by asking questions about the subject that we are talking about, but I have to be very careful not to embarrass my audience because this can easily bring the fear of criticism out, and I will lose them. No one likes to be criticized.  In this modern world, the fear of criticism is more alive than ever. I believe it’s because people value the opinion of others more than their own opinion, for the one and only reason to be liked. Social media has been a great partner to the fear of criticism. ~ Everyone is looking for the perfect picture, the perfect angle, the perfect life, spending hundreds of hours trying to gain some random stranger’s approval. We worry so much about what others think about us. The harsh truth is that no one cares about what we do. Not because they are bad people. No! People don’t care what we do because they are so busy trying to solve their own problems, and they don’t have room for anyone else. Next time you give life to the fear of criticism, kill it by reminding yourself that people are so caught up in their own world that they don’t have time for you. The last negative emotional pillar… The Fear of Failure! Years ago, 2019 to be exact, I discovered personal development due to a quote by Jim Rohn. If you want to read my story, let me know and I’ll send you, my book. I wrote my story in a book with motivational speaker Les Brown, or you can go to my website www.erasmorivera.com and read it there too.

  Anyway… In 2019, I started developing myself, and it required a lot of time away from my family. One day at a family gathering, a family member approached me and said, “Hey, what’s going on with you? We don’t see you around a lot anymore, and I see you traveling a lot. What is it that you are doing again?

  I got excited because I thought that he was interested in learning about personal development and entrepreneurship, but I was wrong. When I started sharing some lessons and experiences about my growth journey, he stopped me and said, “Aren’t you scared? What if you fail, what if your plans don’t work, what if you lose everything, what are you going to do then?

  I have to admit that he got me for a few seconds, but then I came to my senses and said, “And what if it does, what if everything I want becomes real, what if everything works out right, what then?” He looked at me for a couple of seconds in silence and walked away. I learned something that day! I learn how to defeat the fear of failure by flipping the script. “What if I fail? – Well, what if I don’t fail and everything works out? What then? I once read a story about a guy lying on his dead bed. He had a lot of people surrounding his bed as he was dying. All these people looked angry and bitter, staring at him like mad dogs. They were furious because every single one of them represented a different version of what he could have been in life, but because of fear, he decided to stay in his comfort zone and become no one. My friend, regret is a heavy rock to carry! Never allow fear to dictate who GOD made you to be! And don’t worry about obstacles, they will only make you stronger. GOD Bless You! Join the waitlist for the upcoming COMPLIMENTARY communication mastermind training. Learn personal growth strategies from high-minded people just like you: https://forms.gle/GoN2aVXjB8NX6bWw5 If you are serious about your personal growth, work with me One-on-One: https://forms.gle/jNMsC8BGBKsUsxzN6 Improve your communication skills. Unlock great opportunities and create awesome relationships using the Maxwell DISC method of communication. Take the DISC assessment here: https://forms.gle/HnSAw4pC4Jo2vGFn9 ]]> https://erasmorivera.com/a-life-without-color/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=a-life-without-color Fri, 25 Jul 2025 12:38:32 +0000 https://erasmorivera.com/?p=1438 “A life without Color”

Sunday morning, after church, my youngest daughter and I were headed to lunch.

I was excited about something I had read in a book that morning, so I decided to share it with my daughter.

 The author stated how most people trade five days of pain for two days of pleasure.

He was making a point about how there are people who are not satisfied with their job, but they would rather stay in a job that they hate than leave to an unknown place.

In other words, they work in pain for five days, sometimes six, just to have one or two days of pleasure (Days off/weekends).

I find this to be true because of my next-door neighbor

When I lived on the east side of town my neighbor and I sometimes would stop and chat for a few minutes.

What was interesting to me was the consistency of this guy.

Every single time my neighbor stopped and talked to me, it was to complain about his job and how hard life was, and then he would always finish with the same sentence, “Pues ni modos amigo asi es la vida que le asemos” (Oh well, my friend, that’s just how life is, what can we do)

I couldn’t understand, and I still don’t understand why people want to waste their time in a place that is not to their liking. Life is truly short, so why waste it in a sour environment?

Anyways…

Every time I heard my neighbor say his favorite sentence, I thought back to the very first quote I came across back in 2019. It was by motivational speaker Jim Rohn.

Jim said,

“If you don’t like the life that you have, change it; you are not a tree.”

Jim was right, a tree has no options.

If the tree doesn’t like the environment or the place where it was planted, oh well, it has no say so.

The tree has to live in the same place for decades to come until it dies. Not us!

We have the power to change the direction of our lives overnight. We can create our own environment. We can live the life that we want to live and not the life that the world wants us to live.

All it takes is the decision to do it.

As human beings, we have a beautiful and powerful gift that GOD gave us called “Willpower.” So use this incredible tool wisely, my friend!

Ok, back to the story…

When I finished explaining the author’s perspective to my daughter, she looked at me and said, “Oh, they live a life without color!”

I thought about it for a couple of seconds and said…

Yes, that’s exactly what most people do. They live a life without color.

Then she got curious and asked, Why do people live like that?

I said because they have been molded to do so!

In my “Purpose in Progress Program,” I share with my clients the three contributing factors to behavioral style.

1. Heredity – Traits that a person is born with.
2. Environment – The person’s environment.
3. Role Models – The People a person follows or the ones that influence them.

These three factors are crucial to a person’s character.

I used to think that people lived a life without color and were trapped in their own comfort bubble because of “Goals.”

I thought that people didn’t have goals.

Come to find out, that’s not true; people do have goals, and a lot of times, they are awesome goals.

People want to be successful.

I have never met a person yet to tell me, “I don’t want a better life for me and my family.

I just want to be miserable, and I want them to be miserable too.”

So, what is it that keeps people trapped inside their comfort zone?

It’s the 3 negative emotions. The 3 fears!

( Check out “The 3 Negative Emotions” Newsletter).

These three emotions deprive us of living a life with color.

We try so hard to avoid falling into these fears that we lose track of time.

You blink once and you’re twenty years old, you blink twice and you’re forty-five, by the time you blink your eyes three times, the organization you’ve worked for over forty years is throwing you a retirement party, now you’re holding your eyelids because what comes next is your funeral. Time waits for no one.

I hear so many people say I’ll enjoy this, I’ll do that when the time is right. The right time was yesterday, the next right time is today, and tomorrow, well, we don’t know if we’ll see it.

My friend, enjoy the present! Forgive the past, and don’t worry about the future.

The life that you are painting today will determine the color of your tomorrow.

Hope this helps.

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